Heil Heidi I'm in the Room Also Birdemic
by Tommy's Crack is My Crack
Summary: A convergence of the greatest films of our generation as well as one TV show, this fic asks the question "can you really trust any dog?" If you haven't seen The Room, Heil Honey I'm Home, Heidi 4 Paws, or Birdemic, it will make the same amount of sense to one who has.


**Heil Heidi I'm in The Room Also Birdemic**

_In the Style of Tara Gillespie_

**AN: I do not own The Room, Heil Honey I'm Home, Heidi 4 Paws, or Birdemic. I wish I did.**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666X XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XX

"Oh heil, babe," woofed the tall, dark-haired mastiff as he entered The Room. "I've something for arooo!" he howled with anticipation.

"What is it?" yipped his future wife, Lisa, as she rose from the dog bed and licked his face in greeting. She was a beautful, yellow-haired labrador, who wasn't a bad dog, but wasn't a good one, either. In fact, you might say that she was a downright whore. She was the chubbiest of ALL THE DOGS, but that just gave more cushion for the pushin'.

"I bought you a dress" howled Tommy, finally handing the box over to her after playfully and weirdly keeping it out of her reach as she jumped in the air to grab it with her mouth, much like one would with a frisbee. "It will accentuate your Michelan-Man physique quite nicely."

Lisa tore opent the box with her mouth, coating the red dress within with her slobber. A single, thick, buttery tear ran down her cheek. "Tommy it's beautful, thank you! Can I try it on?" She yelped.

"Mbdhvsfljhavdlhfvcbbhzjhs" Tommy grumbled incoherently. Lisa took this to mean "Sure, it's yours." She was so toushed that even while having a very important job being the Fuhrer of all of Nazi Germany, he still took time to buy her presents.

Lisa went upstairs for a few hours until it became night because why the hell not, and came back down with the red dress tightly hugging her flub.

"Wow, you look so sexy, Lisa!" Tommy growled, trying to reveal his doggy-boner. Lisa, the ever-oblivious dumbfuck, did not notice, instead spinning around to show the dress to Tommy, momentarily losing focus as she began to chase her tail.

"Isn't it fabulous?" she woofed askingly.

"Anything for my princess" he arfed in polytonous "sexy" voice.

Suddenly, without any warning or reason to do so, Denny the annoying chihuahua from next door walked in through the front door!

"Heil guys!" he woofed, enthusiastically.

"Oh heil, Denny!" Tommy haroofed in reply. His tone was pleasant, but did not mask his annoyance at the four-inch tall cocklblock that had just walked in the door.

"You look woof-tifucl in your dress, Lisa!" He woofed, hornily.

"Thanks, Denny! But, actually, I was going to woof-tifucl with Hitler now, so, you should leave. Bheil Denny!" She woofed, and winked as she did so.

"Ahahaha!" Tommy laughed ina creepy, vaguely foreign voice. Denny never brought it up, but he had always suspected the The Fuhrer was sevretly not from Germany as he claimed.

Hey climbed up the stairs with much difficulty, considering they were canines, and left a crestfalled and blue-ball plagued Denny downstairs in the living room, eating an apple he conveniently found on tge coffe table, gazing up at them as they vanished from sight.

Several moments later, he decided to fuck not being creepy and went up the stairs after them. He was a watcher, and hoped he score some sweet, sweet leftovers. Much to his chagrin, hwever, when he went in The Room after them, they weren't having sex, but playhing with pillows like some sort of retarded second graders. He joined in anyways because why the hell not.? Much to his dismay, however, Lisa and Tommy started to tickle him.

"Watch out" the Fuhrer excbarked "here come the Tickle Monster! Arroof! Roof! Roff!" The tickling was whoreibble. Asnd it wasn't nearly low enough for Denny's liking. In fact, the fuhrers fingernails were quite painful, and he decided, fuck it, I can suck my own dick.

After he left, Lisa and the Fuhrer took quite a long time before they actually began to fornicate. In fact, their foreplay lasted so long that by the next night, they still hadn't fucked. IN FACT, IT TOOK SO LONG THAT LISA'S HAIR GOT SHAVED AND GREW BACK BEFORE THEY DID IT DOGGY STYLE. As Tommy's silly-putty-like body writhed on top of her, Lisa prayed for the sweet release of death. She didn't know why the Fuhrer was so obsessed with dropping rose petals on her, but they were necessary for his "performance" ifyanowutimean, and by the time he was done she had accidentally swallowed a baker's dozen of them.

After their extremely short boning boning session (well, in comparison to their extremely long foreplay session, it still lasted several days), Tommy quickly fell asleep. Lisa remained awake however, and decided, at that moment, that she didn't love The Fuhrer anymore. It wasn't because he was unkind, it was because he was so utterly terrible in bed, and she couldn't stand another week of getting her titties slapped. Also, he was boring.


End file.
